


unashamed

by nctucomeback



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Falling In Love, Fluff, Healing, Heartbreak, Insecurity, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, based off of dream in a dream, but like a little, ten is a crybaby, this isnt any minhyuk in particular so pick ur own!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-25 15:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12038400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nctucomeback/pseuds/nctucomeback
Summary: ten gets treated like garbage and his heart gets broken, all around the time he reunites with his best friend.





	1. reunion

“single” was a word ten thought would never describe him again. sure, he and minhyuk had only been together for 9 months but that was a good chunk of time. he thought he’d found “the one.” he laid in his bed staring at the ceiling, tears flowing on and off. ‘god, i feel like such a fucking baby,’ the thought flowed through his mind. he couldn’t stop recalling the words that broke him.

“i just don't feel comfortable with you, i need someone i'm not ashamed to hold. that’s what it is. i’m ashamed of you. i’m sorry chit, but that’s the truth.” like, what the fuck? who says that? maybe the dumbass was right, maybe everyone should be ashamed of ten. what good did he do? before he could think anymore, a text interrupted.

grabbing his phone from the nightstand and unlocking it, he saw,

**dumbyoung** : tennieeee i’m almost home do you want to come hang with me?

‘no,’ he thought, but he didn’t have an excuse as to why not. this was his roommate he was talking to, who knew he was doing absolutely nothing but moping. he agreed to dongyoung’s request and rolled out of bed to soothe his red eyes and get dressed. after putting on real pants and staring in the mirror for 5 minutes, he decided sunglasses were the only solution to his tomato eyes. it was sunny enough outside, right?

no. wrong, sorry ten. it was pouring rain when he stepped outside the dorm to wait for dongyoung. now he’d look like an idiot. when his lovely, non-annoying roommate pulled up in his car, he got in and immediately got roasted.

“why are you wearing sunglasses in the rain, numbnuts?” the driver snickered, causing ten to send him an unseen glare.

“what does it matter to you, asshole?” ten fired back, a small smile on his lips, “don’t i look cool?”

“no, you look like a rat,” said the boy who looked like an actual bunny, ironically, “oh, its alright if i invited johnny, right? he said he missed you when i told him we were gonna do something.” he added, pulling out of the parking lot of their dorm in the direction of johnny’s apartment.

“yeah bro that’s great. i miss him too.” and he really did. johnny was his best friend. not having seen him in months really put a damper on his happiness. when him and minhyuk were together, he didn’t like when ten would hang around johnny. insecure and an absolute dickhead. ten teared up behind his glasses at the thought, but shook it off. he felt so stupid. ‘stop being so self deprecating, ten.’ he thought. he’s lucky johnny’s so nice or he could’ve lost another relationship.

as they pulled up to johnny’s building, the tall boy was waiting outside. ten’s heart jumped as he saw the joyous smile on his friend’s face. the black-haired boy hopped out of the car to give a big hug to johnny. he was warm, and smelled good like ten remembers. he had to remind himself to let go so it didn’t get awkward (not like it would’ve, johnny is always comfortable.) his sunglasses were commented on again, and he curses himself for wearing them. he tells him to mind his business with a chuckle. they settled into the car, and headed to some coffee shop dongyoung heard about through taeyong and sicheng.

“they go here on dates all the time, gag.” dongyoung laughed as he parked and unbuckled himself. johnny stepped in to add, “theyre so corny, i swear i read their texts once, and taeyong was all ‘i’m staying up, i don’t wanna come down from your love,’ like what kinda gay shit?”

the group walked in and immediately inhaled the delicious scent of coffee. the atmosphere was comfortable and chic, with little embroidered pillows on the couches. the barista had a wide smile as she greeted them, letting them know to call her when they knew what they wanted. it wasn’t until ten placed his order that he realized he forgot his wallet. he was about to tell her to forget it until—

“i got it.” it flew past his ears so quick he almost didn’t hear it, and before he could deny it, johnny had already swiped his card. it was a small gesture, but ten was so grateful.

“thank you so much. you really didn’t have to do that, johnny. i’ll pay you back.” ten thanked him with a small bow. johnny shook his head and waved it off.

“don’t worry about it. anything for little tennie.” he pinched the shorter’s cheek, resulting in a glare, “you can only have it if you take those dumb sunglasses off, though.”

“i really have to?” ten pouted jokingly, though the thought of exposing himself as a single loser made him nervous. especially to johnny, seeing as this was their reunion. he didn’t want to answer the ‘omg what’s wrong’ he knew he’d get. he didn’t care about dongyoung, who had already sat down.

“yes, ten! they’re huge glasses, i can barely see you!” johnny gave him a playful smile, and ten decided to get it over with. he removed his glasses and looked at him sheepishly. the concern, as expected, took over his face, “oh shit, are you okay, ten?”

“please don’t worry about it, johnny, i’m really okay.” he tried.

“your eyes are all swollen and red like you’ve been crying for hours. tell me what’s wrong. did minhyuk do something stupid again?” johnny plead. he reached for the smaller boy’s hand and gave it a small squeeze. ten chuckled to try and not get upset again.

“he left me.” the shorter replied while tearing up. he was NOT going to cry in public. he replaced the sunglasses and blinked off the tears threatening to spill. johnny looked at him with so much sympathy and opened his mouth to speak…

just then, the barista set the coffees on the counter and wished them good days. johnny finally released his grip on the other’s hand and grabbed his and dongyoung’s drinks. ten took his and they walked to the table together. they sat their cups down and before they could take their seats, johnny wrapped ten in a hug and whispered, “i’m sorry,” in ten’s ear. dongyoung gave them a confused look, but let the weirdos have their fun.

they all began talking about school and their courses and their personal lives. johnny is majoring in dance, just like ten, so very talented. dongyoung is a vocal major. they bonded over upcoming finals and all the stress. johnny complained about his roommate, jaehyun’s noisiness and how much he parties.

“i swear he’s brought someone new home every night the past 3 nights.” he rolled his eyes in disgust, “you can only turn your music up so loud before it starts to bother the neighbors. i want to bleach my ears.”

“my roommate sucks too, wish i could trade him for you.” ten laughed, earning a ‘shut up, brat’ from dongyoung. he had missed having friends. he felt really sentimental and corny, but being able to do this with those closest to him relieved him all of stresses.

after a while in the coffee shop, they decided to leave and go back to their apartment. johnny joined them, remarking how long it’d been since they’d all watched a movie together. they all piled on the couch and picked a random horror film from netflix. ten found himself in the middle, with two sets of perfectly good shoulders to hide his face in.

the movie began and he flinched into dongyoung once, earning a slap to the forehead. the next time he got scared, he made sure to lean towards johnny. the film was really good at the beginning, genuinely scaring and unsettling the thai boy, but towards the end, he lost interest. he found himself laying on johnny’s chest, the taller’s arm across his shoulders. he was steadily dozing off, regaining consciousness only when johnny would jump from a scare. he soon fell into a deep sleep.


	2. inspiration

when he woke, he was in his own bed, alone. he felt his chest sink. he had no distractions from his sadness anymore. he turned onto his side and remembered minhyuk, and how he unloved he felt.

‘why are you upset? you just had a great day with your friends yesterday.’ he scolded himself internally. but that was yesterday, and today is today. no matter what he did, he couldn’t stop upsetting himself over the break up. 

he decided the best way to forget was to get out of bed and quit being a loser. he’d shower, and work on his joint assignment for his music comp and dance classes. he had a showcase coming up where he’d have to perform an original song and dance on stage in front of the whole university. stress on top of depression was very fun. he hated his professors for working together. 

as soon as he stepped in the bathroom, he found something of minhyuk’s on the floor. his toothbrush, the spare he kept in ten’s dorm. it’d been thrown at this head during their last fight. he wasn’t hit but his heart took a blow that night. 

“don’t you love me?” ten remembers saying through tears. he stood in the doorway to the bathroom. minhyuk paced while he brushed his teeth, eyes not once turning up at him. he took a shaky breath before continuing, “you still can’t tell your friends about us.”

“i don’t want them to know, ten.” minhyuk declared with a sigh. 

“why the hell not? all of my friends know about you! i never hide you, i don’t know why you can't be proud of me.” ten let a sob shake his small frame, wrapping his arms around his own body. they always had this argument.

“because i’m not gross like you!” minhyuk shouted and flung his arm at his boyfriend, toothbrush hitting the wall beside him and clattering on the floor. he stormed out and didn’t talk to ten for three days afterwards, until he ultimately dumped him.

ten snapped back into the present and threw the object in the trash, wiping the tears that had started to flow. he hated feeling weak and vulnerable like this. he hopped in the shower, hoping the warm water would cleanse his mind too. it felt like the longest shower of his life. he stepped out of the bathroom, tugging some sweats and some t-shirt on. he grabbed his phone and situated himself in front of his laptop. he had a few new texts, but all from one person.

**johnjohn** : hey ten hope you’re ok?  
**johnjohn** : i wanted to say goodbye last night but you were knocked out.  
**johnjohn** : are you feeling better? 

ten smiled at his friend’s care and typed out a quick reply. 

**ben ten** : hey, yeah i’m fine please don’t worry.  
**ben ten** : thank you for putting me in my bed!!!

**johnjohn** : let me know if you ever need me <3

he sent back another thank you and started on the song he was supposed to write. he’s had several days of just sitting and thinking of lyrics and rhythms, but nothing was coming to mind. today would be just like the rest. he had about two months until the showcase, but his professor checked up on their progress every week or so. he’s made none. he sat from 11am-3pm with nothing written. this was just adding to his bad mood. 

he needed a distraction. he needed inspiration. he wanted to get out of the house. he texted his friends, asking if anyone wanted to hang out, do something genuinely fun. taeyong and sicheng were busy together (as always) and yuta and dongyoung had classes. he sighed, and texted the one other person he could think of. 

**ben ten** : remember how you said to let you know if i need you?

he sat his phone down and leaned back to wait for a reply. within a minute, his phone dinged.

**johnjohn** : yeah? 

**ben ten** : well… like im really bored, and need out of the house… everyone else is busy…

**johnjohn** : o so im ur last choice…  
**johnjohn** : jk you want me to come pick you up?

**ben ten** : pls <3<3<3

**johnjohn** : be there in 10!!!

and johnny was never late. exactly ten minutes later, ten was in the car with johnny. he told the tall boy all about his inspiration dilemma and how he was freaking out. johnny said he'd take him somewhere to help him forget. they went to the park they used to go to, before they stopped hanging out. “we’ll get lost together, just like old times!” 

they walked the trails, a cool breeze fluffing their hair. the smell of cherry blossoms graced the air. ten couldn’t believe how beautiful it was. “piggy back ride?” he heard from his left, seeing johnny slightly crouched. he would’ve been crazy to refuse. he lazily wrapped his legs around johnny’s torso and his ride carried him with ease. they rounded a pond where little ducks swam, and ten aww-ed. he played with the little hairs at johnny’s nape, causing the tall boy to giggle. 

suddenly, his pace picked up and ten tightened his legs with a shriek. “johnny! i’m gonna fall! stop!” he did anything but that. he spun around and jumped with the screaming, laughing boy on his back. soon, he fell back on his butt in the grass and released ten. he caught his breath from his laughter and hugged johnny. “you’re so annoying. i missed you” 

afterwards, ten didn’t want to go home. johnny offered to take him to grab some takeout and have a sleepover, mentioning how jaehyun wasn’t home. he couldn’t agree faster. they got chinese and made their way to johnny’s apartment. the two laid out blankets on the floor to make it soft and got cozy. they let youtube on the tv autoplay dumb songs and sang along. 

“oh my god, you look like a total loser!” ten said with a belting laugh, holding his stomach. johnny had gotten up to dance, ending up very offbeat and clunky. as he flung his limbs to blow by kesha, ten could barely breathe. 

“hey, stop laughing you snake,” johnny replied with a wide smile, rolling his body in waves, “let me flow.” ten was cracking up, but his laughter was cut short by the sound of his phone. 

**minhyukkie** : ten baby i’m so sorry, can we talk about everything? 

ten cringed at the nickname he was saved under, not having changed it after the falling out. strike number one. strike number two was actually replying. 

**ben ten** : what do you want to talk for?  
**ben ten** : to tell me how disgusting i am for being gay?  
**ben ten** : please don’t call me baby and make me feel like there’s a chance

and the final strike: ten couldn’t stop himself from getting worked up at his words. he couldn’t stop texting once he’d started. as much as he wanted to fix things with minhyuk, he hated his guts for making him feel this worthless. johnny noticed his friend’s silence and sat down next to him, “is everything okay?” 

“everything is fine, please don’t worry.” he replied, blinking to stop the welling tears. 

“you keep saying that but someone has to worry about you, ten, you don’t talk. you can’t hold everything in like this.” johnny sounded strained, there was almost pain in his voice, “i’m always going to worry about you. please talk to me.”

those words finally made ten crack. the tears he’d been holding back came spilling out. he pulled his knees to his chest and sobbed, still clutching his vibrating phone. his face heated up in a blush. he was a wreck. everything that minhyuk had said and done to him gushed out of his mouth so fast johnny couldn’t keep up.

“hey, hey, deep breaths, honey.” johnny wrapped his arms around the crying boy and rubbed his back. ten rested his head on the taller’s shoulder and sobbed harder. he had never seen ten this upset in his life, “you have to breathe, slow down and tell me what happened. please.”

once the small boy regained his composure, he leaned away to face his friend and explained all of what went down between him and his ex. he told him about the insults, how he wasn’t allowed to be friends with johnny, how minhyuk was ashamed of him, that he felt like a waste of space, the toothbrush incident. the look in johnny’s eyes was murderous. 

“he really did all of that to you?” ten nodded. johnny couldn’t believe it, he was in shock that someone could treat the soft angel in front of him this terribly. that someone could make ten hate himself and just leave and be fine.

“and he just texted me to talk about everything.” ten tried to wipe his tears but they just replaced themselves immediately. “why do i want to try and fix it, johnny? why do i feel like i need him?”

he didn’t know how to reply. he just gently took the phone from ten’s hands and pulled him into his lap. if he couldn’t fix ten’s problem right then, he’d help him feel better for the moment. johnny sung a little for him, even though he didn’t think his voice was that nice.

ten cried for about 30 minutes before he calmed down. he felt foolish, wasting johnny’s time with his tears. “thank you for listening to my stupid problems. i’m sorry.” 

johnny told him to shush, “your problems are not stupid, ten. you know i’d listen to you rant about mustard. which has happened. don’t act like i don’t care!” 

they had both grown tired, so after finding pillows they laid down separately. they talked and laughed for a bit, johnny not wanting ten to be even the smallest bit sad before sleeping. ten fell asleep quickly. as he gazed at his sleeping friend, johnny felt a pain deep in his chest. he’d help ten get over minhyuk if it was the last thing he did. he dozed off determined.


	3. progress

“dude i really don’t know.” ten sighed and ran his hands through his hair. 

“this is your chance to get all your feelings out! write about love or some shit.” johnny laid on ten’s bed, phone hovering about his face, “y’know, like ‘don’t ever let me come down from your love’” ten just glared at him and threw a pillow, making the giant oaf drop his phone on his face, “hey! what was that for? i’m trying to help!”

the two were trying to work on ten’s assignment song together, “i don’t know how to write about love. you know how my last love went.” 

“well write about that then.” johnny shrugged simply. he knew ten needed a way to get those feelings out. ten, however, hadn’t even thought about minhyuk since their sleepover night. it’d been a month since then. he and johnny had been hanging out so often he never had time to think about anything other than his tall idiot friend. 

ten decided to try and write a love song anyways. he had come up with the whole music part of the song (he and johnny sat up for a whole night getting it perfect,) now he just needed lyrics. and well, a dance, but he was trying not to stress. he had a little over one month until his showcase. 

he sat for about 10 minutes thinking about what love was before he typed out some words and lines that came to mind. he made it simple and short, not wanting to overshadow his precious music. 

“can i see?” johnny scrambled to get a peek, but the laptop was already slammed shut. 

“no! you already know the whole rhythm! it’s a surprise, dickhead.” ten put his forefinger on johnny’s forehead and shoved. he got up for the first time in hours and stretched. he still had arranging to do, but he was happy with his progress. 

“hey, do you wanna go out with me?” johnny smiled up at the standing boy, a hopeful look on his face.

“to the club? you’re not one for partying.” ten questioned, confused. johnny rolled his eyes and buried his face in his hands.

“i meant like, out to dinner? there’s that nice new steak place down the street.” ten ‘ohh’-ed and contemplated the offer. 

“you paying?” he asked with a cheesy grin, rubbing his stomach. he was a hoe for free dinner. 

“don’t i always? gotta treat my tennie right.” johnny told him to get ready, it was kind of a fancy place. after ten was dressed and pretty, they walked the short distance to the desired restaurant and stood waiting to be seated. it wasn’t too busy, seeing as how it was still just a little early to be dinner hours. they got a table pretty quick, a booth by the windows. the two placed their orders, ten a rare steak and johnny a well done, and began talking to pass time. 

“i can’t believe you still eat well done steaks, you nasty hoe! that’s such a waste.” ten complained with a smirk, sipping his water. 

“you’re the nasty one, eating undercooked beef. don’t come for me, boo.” johnny stared out the window, rolling the cloth napkin between his fingers. he then fixated on something, eyes widening in realization.

“at least try a little of mi— what is it, jayjay? a really cute boy out there?” ten joked, but was genuinely curious as to what had johnny’s tongue. johnny just shook his head.

“uh, yeah there’s a guy out there that caught my eye, don’t worry about it.” he gave ten a much-less-than reassuring smile, almost a cringe. ten left it at that and continued their steak conversation. 

shortly after, the food arrived and they both dug in. something was still off about johnny, ten saw. he was oddly quiet and awkward.

“johnnnnnnyyy! you gotta eaat!” he started picking food off of his plate to shove in johnny’s mouth. he started to giggle, which made johnny full on crack up. as the couple laughed, a throat clearing interrupted them. as they turned their heads, their smiles dropped. 

“so you ignore all my messages and drop me to date him? remember when you’d tell me he was nothing to worry about?” minhyuk sneered down on ten, crossing his arms. ten just gaped, not knowing how to respond. was he the wrong one? “i always knew there was something between y—“

“are you done yet?” johnny stared up at him, an annoyed look on his face. he’d had enough, “you really think ten is the one in the red here? after everything you’ve said. why do you care? you treated him like trash and now that someone treats him well you’re back? what’s the problem if he’s on a date with me or anyone for that matter?” 

johnny stood and stared him in his face, “if you were a man you would’ve cared in the beginning and not just when it’s convenient for you.” he threw money on the table, grabbed ten’s hand, and walked out, sparing a sorry for the wait staff. 

the walk back to the dorms was silent, ten still in shock. he felt anxiety growing in the pit of his stomach. were they on a date? is that what johnny thought it was? was it? he didn’t know honestly. he glanced over to see johnny’s stone straight face. he still had a death grip on the smaller boy’s hand and seemed to be fuming. ten glanced down at their joined hands and felt a flutter in his heart. this was all too much for him. 

the two reached the apartment, ten fleeing straight into his room. johnny followed closely behind to assess the damage. ten could feel the tears pooling in his eyes. he choked out a small “sorry” before bursting into tears. within seconds he was being held. 

“i’m not the wrong one, but i feel bad. not for him but you.” he whined through tears, “you’re the one who has to deal with me.” 

“shut up ten. you know i don’t just ‘deal’ with you, you’re my best friend.” johnny pulled away and looked in the glassy eyes before him. “don’t apologize when you did nothing wrong. don’t feel bad because i love every second i spend with you, no matter how it ends.” 

ten nodded, laying his head back on johnny’s shoulder, “can we redo that dinner sometime?” he felt a rumbling chuckle and a quiet confirmation. after he’d calmed down, he was left alone when johnny left to work on an assignment. 

as he seated himself at the all too familiar desktop in the corner, he read through the song lyrics he had written earlier. they fit his feelings perfectly, and he began to weave them into the music. after the words were arranged, he grabbed his mic and did a quick practice recording. he poured all of his heart into what he was singing, feeling the weight of the world lift off his shoulders.

he listened back and was overwhelmed with happiness. he had finished his song. he just had to master it and he could start choreography. he had no idea where the inspiration had come from until it hit him. all of the lines of the song all came from one person. 

the whole song was about johnny.


	4. showcase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is the final chapter thank you so much for reading!!!

the few weeks after were slow, all the while johnny pestered for a peek of the song, or the dance he had been sneaking off to practice. ten’s stress levels were through the roof. getting the choreo right, worrying if the song really was perfect, if his professor would enjoy it, the fact that he had written a love song about his best friend, it was all driving him crazy. 

he didn’t think he liked johnny. he was too. well. johnny. they were just friends, he couldn’t like him. but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that maybe he did. maybe he always did. he always knew how to cheer him up, his mere presence made ten feel safer. 

but he didn’t like to think about it. he had been distracting himself by preparing for the showcase, which was now in less than one week. time was passing faster than he’d like it to. 

“guys we have to get this perfect, it has to be so fluid i could drown myself in it like i want to right now.” ten groaned. the group was so close to having it down as he envisioned it in his head. he was sure part of his pickiness was from his anxiety, but he couldn’t help but be hard on them. “can we run it one more time please?”

every thing was going great this time, until he himself slipped and fell on his stomach, knocking the wind from his lungs. he raised the hand that wasn’t caressing his abdomen and waved for everyone to go home. he’d get to it tomorrow. 

he rolled himself up off the ground and looked in the big studio mirror. he imagined finishing the performance on stage with a smile on his face and it calmed his nerves some. he ran through the dance a few times on his own. it was going to be beautiful. 

the door opened behind him with a slam, and he spun around to see dongyoung with his hands on his hips. “we’re supposed to shop for your outfit, remember?! i’ve been sitting in the parking lot for like. an hour!” 

“that’s oddly patient of you, you’d never wait that long before bothering me.” ten looked away from his own reflection (unconceitedly) with a smirk, “you had to be doing something… else? you've been sneaking out the apartment lately!” 

dongyoung blushed, waving his hand and dragging ten to his car. they arrived shortly to the mall, browsing several stores. “i wanna look majestic, but still like, mysterious? and a little sexy.” 

“okay, so you wanna look like the weirdest string of adjectives ever. gotcha.” dongyoung teased, turning around with a pair of fishnets in his hands and his eyebrow quirked. ten rolled his eyes and stomped off. 

“and i want to be in white, because the backups are gonna be in black. the lights are gonna make me look glowy.” he grabbed at random shirts, none of them what he wanted, until he laid his eyes on one hanging high up on the wall. “doyoung!! get that shirt for me!” ten pointed, clearly too short to grab it himself. 

as soon as he tried it on, he knew it was the one. “you sound like you’re talking about the love of your life. it’s just a shirt, cornball.” doyoung quipped as they stood at the checkout.

“some people like to look good, but you wouldn’t know what that's like, you ugly snake.” sneered ten with his nose up. he paid for his shirt and they wandered around the mall for a while (mostly because doyoung had an exam he didn’t want to study for. rat.) ten managed to find a simple pair of white pants for his outfit. dongyoung, on the other hand, had 6 shopping bags on his arms. 

“soooo… i got some info from a little birdie that you and johnny went on a date. that you DIDN’T TELL ME ABOUT.” dongyoung shoved an accusing finger into ten’s arm.

ten groaned, his head falling back. johnny wasn’t the type to gossip, he usually knows how to keep his fat mouth shut. “i didn’t even know it was supposed to be a date! did he tell you?” 

“uhh, well he, himself, didn’t tell me. jaehyun did ANYWAY enough about that, i heard about minhyuk. i’m sorry he keeps coming back. you deserve better.” dongyoung shifted from foot to foot awkwardly, not used to being affectionate with ten. the latter sprang forward and hugged his tall friend. 

“thank you doyoungie! i’m not upset over him anymore, don’t worry about me. i’ve fully moved on.” ten grinned as he pulled away, holding him at arms length. “wait. did you say jaehyun?! like johnny’s roommate?! you hoe!” 

“shut up! he’s not as bad as johnny made him out to be! he’s very sweet. he calls me pretty and brings me morning coffee. a bitch like you wishes he could.” he shrugged ten’s hands off with a happy smile. the shorter reached up and ruffled the smiling boy’s hair. “when are you gonna confess to johnny?” 

ten’s jaw dropped and he tripped over his own tongue, “i d-don’t know what you’re talking about!” doyoung rolled his eyes, beginning to walk towards the parking deck and his car. 

“don’t act oblivious, you two have been smitten over each other for months. don’t think i didn’t notice that you’re together every day.” ten was shocked. if dongyoung knew, did johnny know? ten wasn’t even really sure about his feelings. well. he is like 100% sure but he’d never admit it to himself. he bumbled along behind his tall friend in a daze. he stayed in the same fog until he woke the next morning for his classes.

his professor told him when he arrived that his song was perfect and ready for performance, which honestly made his day. all he had to do was the finishing touches on his dance and he was set. it put a bounce in his step thinking about how prepared he was. the rest of the day was a breeze, even dance practice went perfect. 

“thank you all so much. we have just a couple days until performance, and i know we’ll do as perfect on stage as we did tonight. let’s get it done, fighting!” ten hugged every single person in the room full of excitement. now all he had to do was wait until friday night. 

which was hard. he was sitting on johnny’s couch, with the owner of said couch, jaehyun, and doyoung. he found himself unable to sit still. he had gotten up to check johnny’s fridge at least 4 times the past hour.

“why do you keep doing that? we ordered takeout?” jaehyun asked, dopily. “your food is sitting right there, and your drink is full?” 

“he does this when he’s antsy, you’ll get used to it.” dongyoung patted his shoulder as ten returned to the couch. he tapped his toes on the ground as he ate. as time went on he got increasingly anxious to perform his song. he was scared johnny would figure out it was about him and hate him. he didn’t want another person he loved to be ashamed of him. 

“what’s bothering you? i can tell you’re not happy. what is it?” johnny asked softly, placing a stilling hand on ten’s bouncing leg. 

“i’m just nervous to perform.” ‘not a total lie,’ he thought to himself. 

“you know you’ll do great, you were so excited when you got here! my best friend will do nothing short of amazing.” johnny smiled to him, eyes turning into crescents. they spent the rest of the night playing video games together, before doyoung and jaehyun left and ten stayed the night with johnny. 

even while laying in johnny’s bed, he was restless. he tossed and turned, letting out a huff of frustration. the blanket was wound around his feet and he was kicking to try and relieve the discomfort.

“stop that. relax,” he felt a pair of arms wrap around him and pull him in. ten listened to johnny’s steady heartbeat and took a breath. he felt a hand thread through his hair and he exhaled in a moment of bliss. the taller’s lips rested softly on his forehead because of their closeness and he felt safe. how did johnny do this to him? how was he such a good friend that it made ten fall in love with him? that’s all johnny wanted to be, right? his friend? he drifted off to sleep in a strange conflict. 

~

he stood behind the curtain, looking out on stage. his heart was beating a million beats a second. he’d be called on stage in just a few minutes. he was shaking from nerves. 

“ten. chittaphon leechaiyapornkul. stop being extra. all you have to do is go out there and dance. no speaking.” he reassured himself. it didn’t help, but he tried. he paced back and forth between the stageside and the door to the dressing rooms. he walked right into said door as it opened and his backup dancers came out. 

doyoung and johnny exited as well, each giving him a hug. “we’ll be out there watching you, don’t worry.” it wasn’t the most calming thing dongyoung could’ve said. ‘nobody else is out there and we’ll close our eyes’ would’ve been much better. johnny hugged him one last time and patted his head.

“let your nerves and all your feelings out on stage, you’ll do perfect.” johnny said, once again making him calm in an instant. ten thanked him with a small smile and shoved them to go sit down. his name was called, making his heart jump to his throat, “coming!” 

he walked out on the stage, his subconscious guiding him to the microphone. ‘don’t fuck this up’ he pleaded with his brain. he breathed in and out once, deep, and prepared himself. 

“i wrote this song all overnight, for who i believe is the love of my life. this person has been my best friend for as long as i can remember and i fell in love in an instant. i hope you know who you are.” ten opened his eyes he hadn’t realized he’d closed and caught johnny in his vision. the american’s eyes widened in confusion. ten turned on his heel and fell into formation. he had no idea where that confidence came from. fuck. 

he took his friend’s advice and let it all out. his anxiety melted off and he danced his love out, all for the one boy in the crowd who made him feel loved. who never once was ashamed of him, all the times they were together johnny was proud to show him off. his movements on stage were as smooth and beautiful as he’d hoped. he knew he was doing well when an audible gasp from his audience was heard over the music. he felt like water, flowing easily to every beat of the instrumental over the speakers. the lyrics, a simple chorus of a few lines, began. 

_i’m staying up, i don’t wanna come down from your love_

the coffee shop, finally seeing johnny again and reuniting like they had never been apart. 

_we’ll get lost together, let me flow_

being able to laugh again freely, all because of one person. he never remembers it being that easy but with johnny, it was like breathing. 

_don’t ever let me come down from your love, from your love, from your love._

he didn’t know how to be without the other boy. even if he did, he wouldn’t want to be without him. he made him whole, his best friend. 

as the song continued, it felt like his feelings grew stronger. the more he expressed, the more love he felt. the chorus repeated a few times, driving his point even more. as he soared around the stage with his dance partner for their solo, he felt free. he no longer held any weight. 

the song finished as he laid on his back on stage, his eyes closed. he inhaled, feeling like he hadn’t breathed the whole dance. the room was silent, save for his labored breaths. he stood up and looked out at the crowd in concern. 

they burst into applause, standing for him. screams and whoops rung out through the room. it felt like he had won the lottery as he looked at all the smiles. he bowed in just about every direction, wishing he could bow to each individual in thanks. 

he scanned the crowd looking for johnny, though he was no where to be found. he spotted doyoung and jaehyun grinning hand in hand, but no johnny. his heart dropped. had he really left? ten had embarrassed him. he doesn’t love him back. he tried not to show his change in emotion as he bowed one last time and left the stage. everyone congratulated him with pats to his back and hugs as he made his way to the dressing room. he thanked with all the enthusiasm he could muster. 

he felt tears prickling his eyes, it was all a little overwhelming. he looked to the floor as he pushed the door open and rushed in. he only looked up when the door was shut, letting a tear fall. at the same time he realized he wasn’t alone.

“j-johnny? i’m really sorry i—“ he didn’t get a chance to finish before he was interrupted. 

“who did you write it about?” the question took ten by surprise. did he really not know who it was about? the taller stood with a bouquet in his hands, outstretched towards ten. his facial expression was unreadable. 

ten took the flowers, a beautiful bouquet of red roses. he opened his mouth to speak but let it fall shut. his previous confidence left him long ago. “i— it— i wrote it about you. it was all things that made me realize what real love was. all things you’ve said to me. i’m sorry.” 

when he looked up, johnny was much closer than before. “why are you apologizing?”

“because i love you and you don’t feel the same and i’m embarrassed i did that in front of everyone we know. i ruined everything…” ten looked at his shoes in shame. he knew he would cry soon. 

he felt warm, oddly warm for an air conditioned room. he turned his glare upwards to see johnny’s chocolate eyes inches from his. “please don’t act like you don’t mean the world to me. you know i love you ten. everyone knows that.”

“really?” was all he could choke out.

“seeing you heartbroken over minhyuk, i made a promise to myself to make sure you know what you’re worth. i never want you to feel unwanted. i want you to know i’m here for you. i will do anything in my power to make you feel priceless.” johnny took one of ten’s hands in his own and the other rested on the back of his neck. 

“you’ve never been ashamed of me… not in front of anyone. you’re proud of me, you show me in any way you can. johnny, you’re the best person i’ve ever known. i love you so damn much.” ten breathed out, leaning into johnny’s embrace. they were so close now, he could feel the other’s breath on his lips. 

“will you be mine? i promise you i’ll keep you safe.” he almost wanted to pinch himself, it seemed unreal that this was happening to him. 

“yes, god, this is like a dream in a dream.” ten broke out in a wide smile that was short lived. johnny pulled him in and brushed their lips together. they glided together without a hitch, like they were made just for the other. 

when they separated, foreheads resting together, they both felt complete and proud.

**Author's Note:**

> this took me so long to finish but all the chapters are finished! i will post them once a day or every other day depending on how busy i am, thank you for reading!
> 
> follow me on instagram @lovetaeyongie to keep up with me!!


End file.
